You’re Taking It All Too Hard

There’s always a reason why it happened.  You never never did anything wrong.

But it It just seemed to fall apart.  You’re taking it all too hard.

Genesis

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Mr. Diva™ did the right thing for Valentine’s Day (even though they were delivered a day late).

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He surprised Marielle with beautiful flowers, too!

Yes, I’ve been busy.  Busy doing NOTHING.  Seriously.  Ever since I returned from Marielle’s kidney transplant hospitalization, I am useless.  My life as I knew it has been sucked out of me.  I rarely return phone calls and emails.  I am numb.  Not particularly sad, but not giggling as usual.

Friends think I’m suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or something along those lines.  I don’t think that’s the case.  It’s more like I disappeared for a few months and the world kept moving.  Now I need to catch up with all that has been neglected since my daughter got sick last May.  Only problem is I don’t know where to start.  Perhaps it’s all just too much pressure I put on myself.

To add to all this, the CPSIA has been a bad dream for me.  This post from Polkadot Patch Kids really sums up my feelings lately.  I’ve got a lot to say about the CPSIA, but don’t have the energy at this very moment to post it.  Stay tuned.

So I’m taking baby steps.  It’s all I can do at this point.

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Speaking of babies, my dear friend, Diana (you know, the one who made all the delicious caramels apples for the big BBQ) has a baby shower a few weeks ago.  As I had no motivation to sew/embroider baby gifts, I took her shopping at our local children’s boutique instead.  We got lots of beautiful baby clothes and accessories.

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Notice the heelarioius heels? Oh and I’m delighted to announce the arrival of Sophia Antoinella Diaco this past Tuesday!  She’s beyond precious!  Congratulations to Diana and Anthony!

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I’m preparing to redecorate Marielle’s room in zebra and hot pink.  Her bedroom walls will be painted hot pink and I thought one of these neat Vinyl Dress Form on Etsy would be perfect.  I was going to add a decorative dress form, but I didn’t want to add to the clutter in her room.  That child has too much stuff!

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There’s also this Vinyl Dress Form on Etsy

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and this one

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oh wait…what about this one?  So many choices!

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OMG!  Check out this Zebra Lamp!  I love it, but it’s more than I want to spend.  Anyway it’s light pink, not hot pink…LOL!

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I bought her this bedding and had custom zebra window cushions made for her room.  It’s going to be awesome if I ever start painting her walls.

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In an effort to get back to my sewing machines (which haven’t been touched in ages), I volunteered to help my non-sewing friend, Lynn, make a table skirt.  It took me several days as I’d only do one step and then get distracted with other stuff.  Silly me…it is something I’d usually finish in less than an hour.  If only I could focus.

If only Lynn knew how necessary this project was for me.  It forced me to do what I love most…sew!

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And now onto the most important thing…Marielle continues to do GREAT after her kidney transplant two months ago!

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You’d never know she is the same child who was clinging to life in an ICU for months!  Miracles do happen!

Oh and check out my new favorite song by The Fray!

With friendship,

Lisa

divaparking

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Comments

  1. You know, the sort of thing that you went through _can_ cause lasting issues, whether you define it as trauma or not. EMDR can help, and it’s _fast_.

    It’s worth considering, anyway.

  2. sunshine girl you are looking great, keep it up. well done!
    lisa it is fully understandable you feel the way you do, take it easy.
    kind regards from holland.

  3. I have your blog in google reader and always wait for the updates. I cried and cheered a the sunshine girl and you family fought so hard for the most precious thing – our children. Now I am concerned for you. It is normal to hibernate after a prolonged period of extreme stress. It is ok to slow down and care for yourself but not doing what you love is a sure sign that all is not well. Please listen to family and friends…it is ok to reach out for help, too. Mom’s forget that too often.

  4. Lisa,

    What your family has been through is stressful and traumatic. From what I have gleaned about you is we have a lot in common and we are get it done type of gals so we aren’t able to sit back and realize what we have gone through because we were too busy going through and once it was done, it was done. We move on to the meds, post-op visits, etc. I think it is normal to just not feel it right now and quite frankly it is overwhelming to try to catch up so just start now and those things that are important will fall into play and the others will fall away. :)

    Sorry to get wordy but my heart goes out to you and your family.

    As for the pink/zebra, I think the bedding is just too cute. Sunshine Girl looks absolutely golden and sunny, who would have thunk it that she just went through the ringer. Woohoo for her!!!!!!

    Take care!!!!

  5. I was so glad to read your update and to hear that your baby girl is okay xx
    give yourself time, focus on one thing from your “past” life that you would enjoy and like to do again and get that done ((hugs)) – I think what your are feeling given everything that has happened including CPSIA is very normal – you sound sad and I hope you can find your happiness again

  6. I hope that you can “catch up” soon! I can’t even imagine!

    Your daughters room is going to be gorgeous! I can’t wait to see pictures! I like the vinyl form of the dress, that looks like wire?? Super cute!

    I think your daughter looks amazing!!! Thank God!

  7. Lisa, I think that what you’re feeling now is normal. You have been through a period of extended stress and your whole body is tired–physically, emotionally, and mentally. Take some time to nurture yourself by getting some exercise and sunshine, and go back into the sewing room for just a few minutes at a time to help you over the hurdle. Marielle looks wonderful and I know what a blessing that is to you. Now it’s time to take care of YOU! :)

  8. I tried to call you from Joann’s the other day when I found that last vinyl set because it made me think of you. :)

  9. My dear friend Lisa…I’m so glad to be able to help out in such a small way. The flowers are beautiful as is Marielle. Her room is going to be gorgeous! I think the dress form on the wall is a super idea…didn’t know they had things like that.

    I think the way you are feeling is to be expected. You were running on pure adrenalin for so long and now you are back down to earth and it is quite a change. I’m sure the psychs have a word for it. You’re in a bit of a funk, a haze, a depression. Springtime will help.

    And I know what it feels like to be in a haze, etc. etc. I have suffered from depression all my adult life. It ain’t fun. :) And it is hard to explain to someone who has never experienced it.

    BTW…my tableskirt looks beautiful. :):):) Lynn

  10. Lisa, I think everything you are feeling is soooo normal, given what you have been through. It is traumatic, not to mention stressful when you are Mom wanting to fall apart, but having to stay strong for the rest of your family. And, not just for one day, but for many long months!! I can’t imagine how difficult this was for you….I continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    I think Marielle’s room will be FABULOUS!!

    Erika

  11. Hi, continuing to pray for you and your daughter-I found your website while researching sewing rooms. I quickly found myself checking in daily to see how Marielle was doing, and praying like crazy for a donor. I can’t even remotely imagine what you felt like. How you are feeling now seems to be completely normal-check out Ecclesiastes, there really is a time for everything. Esp. chocolate. :)

  12. Yes, Lisa! Normal! I spent about 18 months helping my mom recover from a stroke, a broken hip and then a broken arm, and afterwards I felt very much as you describe. I had periods of energy and getting stuff done, but then just felt like doing nothing much of the time. It is exhausting to go through something like that and I think when it happens we need to cut ourselves some slack, for awhile anyway.

    I am so glad to hear that Marielle is doing well — she looks fantastic.

    Many blessings to all of you!

  13. Happy to see an update from you… and can completely understand why there hasn’t been one for awhile! Your daughter looks beautiful and healthy – and her room is going to be so cute! I think doing one little thing each day helps, and I’ll pray for sunny days up in your neck of the woods.

  14. I am so glad you updated. I have checked regularly. Still praying for Marielle and all of you.

    One of those vinyl dress forms would be WAY COOL in my sewing room! That bedroom will be so fun for her.

  15. I was looking for sewing room inspiration on Flickr and came across your photos, which are amazing, amazing, amazing, which led me here, which has left me a bit bewildered as to my comment, since spring cleaning my studio now seems so very un~important in light of your situation. . .I truly hope you feel better and that your beautiful daughter continues to heal. . .
    Michelle

  16. Sending a big Hug and waving Hi! So great to see you back. Gosh, Marielle is so gorgeous!! What a beam of sunshine. Isn’t it her birthday today? I might be wrong, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIELLE!!!

    Much love,
    Sheree

  17. So glad she is doing so well!!! WHat you need is a vacation with your family after all you guys have been through!

  18. Hi, Lisa– So happy to hear your daughter is doing so well… I wanted to chat with you via email about something for Sew,Mama,Sew!, but I can’t find your email contact info. Could you email me?

    Thanks so much,
    Beth

  19. i’m so happy your precious daughter is doing well!

  20. Lisa,
    Thank you so much for sharing that letter. I can’t believe how gorgeous your daughter is and what an unbelievable mother you are. My daughter has been through alot of medical problems (not a liver transplant) but had a trach, has a gtube and was resucitated multiple times during her first few weeks (she has a very rare craniofacial birth defect). As a doctor I am so sorry to hear about the difficulties you had while trying to get the best care for your precious daughter and I am sorry to say I experienced much of the same…we transferred our daughter from Yale to Boston Children’s and peole thought we were nuts….all of her attendings treated me like some crazy person instead of a doctor just because I insisted on seeing her labs…it was just a horrendous awful experience. In any case, I am so happy marielle is doing so well and I will keep you both in my prayers. I too am trying to pick up the pieces of my career after going through so much w/ Ava and finding it hard…you have done so much and are inspiring! I guess all we can do is take it one day at a time. I have been having such a crappy day and now I feel much better & you have reminded me to keep things in perspective- my daughter is happy and healthy and on the road to a regular preschooler’s life so I need to focus on that.
    God bless & take care,
    Allison

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